High Strangeness In National Parks

While I do enjoy writing humorous posts on this blog, occasionally, I feel we need to take a look down the darker rabbit holes of our world. And there are few darker than those involving the growing number of missing persons cases in U.S. national parks.

If you are unfamiliar with this phenomenon, all you have to do is a Google search for the phrase “missing persons national parks” and you will find a slew of articles, reports, and strange accounts of what seems to be a savage secret of the United States National Park Service. No doubt, such a search will bring you to the extensive work of David Paulides, whose series, “Missing 411,” has produced four books, several YouTube videos, documentaries, and a soon-to-be motion picture.


So what’s it all about, Alfie? I would encourage you to do your own digging, but in a nutshell, it is this:

Literally thousands of people have gone missing in national parks across the United States. While some of these disappearances can be attributed to accidents, wild animal attacks and the like, there are a stunning number of vanishings that cannot be explained away. They often involve unusual details, such as:

  • The missing person’s clothes being found, neatly folded, near the place where they were last seen. Sometimes, the clothes are found AFTER that particular spot had been searched and turned up nothing.
  • Some victims are found several miles away from where they disappeared with no explanation of how they could possibly have traveled that far. In one case, a toddler was found dead 19 kilometers (12 miles) from the spot where he vanished. The terrain between the two locations covered two mountain ranges and several waterways. How could a child less than four years old have covered that much distance alone? In another case, a man that went missing in upstate New York was found alive 4,667 km (2,900 mi.) away in Sacramento, California. He had no memory of how he had traveled so far, aside from vague memories of sleeping in the back of a semi-trailer truck. His clothes hadn’t been changed, but during that missing time, he had purchased a cell phone and gotten a hair cut. Most victims are never seen or heard from again.
  • Search dogs that are brought on to track down the missing often refuse to follow the trail, laying down and whimpering rather than continuing.

In one peculiar disappearance, that of six-year-old Dennis Martin, the Army’s Green Berets were called in to help with the search. The Green Berets, however, did not coordinate with local law enforcement or the FBI, and instead went on their own, heavily armed as if expecting a large-scale confrontation of some sort. This is just one of the several strange facts relating to this case, and despite these seemingly excessive efforts, Dennis was never found.

To this day, hundreds of people — mostly children — disappear in national parks every year under bizarre circumstances, and the National Park Service and other U.S. government agencies don’t like to talk about it. In fact, if you look at the evidence, they appear to be hiding something. For one thing, according to their own admission, they don’t even keep records of the number of people who go missing!

A map from Missing 411 that indicates where the most disappearances have occurred.

While the internet is, of course, abuzz with theories involving Bigfoot, aliens, and other ne’er-do-wells of the netherworld, the truth seems to be, well, just as weird if less paranormal.

There have been several reports of “disheveled individuals” seen in the areas where people have gone missing. Reports of “wild men” — homeless people that have gone off the grid and taken to living in the forest, wearing animal skins and surviving like modern-day neanderthals — seem to pop up more frequently than anything UFO-related.

I don’t want to disparage the homeless. The vast majority of homeless people are good people who are just not living their best lives at the moment. If you live in a city, you are aware of the large population of homeless persons making their way as best they can on the open streets. While most homeless people are good people who are  just in need of some assistance, there are always a few bad apples in any demographic. How strange would it be for some homeless people to decide they stood a better chance in the forest, away from the over-populated areas and surrounded by nature? What if there are entire tribes of such people living off the grid? And is it that far-fetched that a homeless man in a bear-skin suit might be mistaken for a Sasquatch?

This raises questions even more disturbing than those raised by the E.T. hypothesis: Why would some of  the more dishonorable homeless people be kidnapping hikers? Are they recruiting them? Forcing them into some sort of slavery? Could they even be cannibalizing these missing people, finding them an easier food source to capture than the wily wild animals with whom they share the parks? As noted earlier, many of the missing are children. What if some of these “wild men” are grabbing children to make “forest brides” of them? Remember that nut who grabbed Elizabeth Smart? Admittedly, she was taken from her own bedroom rather than a state park, but the nutball who grabbed her kept her in the woods for most of the time that she was in his vile clutches. Was he, perhaps, a fringe member of one of these “wild” groups?

If this is the case, then why isn’t the U.S. government more forthcoming with information on this danger?

What does Pink Floyd know???

Let me go a bit further down this rabbit hole. As you may be aware, the U.S. has a serious human trafficking problem. What if some of these “wild folk” are kidnapping children to sell to contacts within the human trafficking networks? These networks are vast and deeply entrenched, and it would not be a far leap of logic to assume that some people within the U.S. government are involved. Like drug trafficking and any number of other illicit activities, human trafficking is a multi-billion dollar industry, and officials within the U.S. government have used their positions to capitalize on such evil enterprises before. Could they be paying these “wild people,” compensating them with food, supplies, drugs, etc., in exchange for nefariously nabbed children? They may even have trained these off-the-grid child grabbers in basic kidnapping procedures, such as covering their trail with pepper spray to discourage tracking dogs.

Remember the case of the man who somehow made his way from New York to California, turning up with vague memories of riding in a semi-trailer? As with the vast majority of honest and good-hearted homeless people, I don’t want to disparage ALL truckers, but as I said, there can be a few bad apples in any given barrel. There are some peculiar people in that line of work, powered by meth amphetamines and a penchant for… let’s just say “the unusual” side of life. Ever seen the episode of the animated series “Archer” entitled “Midnight Ron” (season 4, episode 4)? Suffice to say, there may be some people who are in that line of work for the anonymity it can provide, and who would not be above nabbing and/or transporting human cargo for less-than-respectable purposes.

“Midnight Ron” Archer, s. 04 e. 04

This is a subject that should be discussed extensively, and a blog like this is not the place for such a detailed discussion. I just hope this little article helps to raise public awareness, and perhaps will serve to shed a little more light down that dark, dark rabbit hole of human trafficking. Whatever your thoughts are of Bigfoot and his alien buddies, we shouldn’t blame them for everything.

Perhaps it’s time we started looking at the animal-skin wearing wild people and the lingerie-wearing truckers who love them. And, yes, it is DEFINITELY time we started asking our government some hard f—ing questions. I would certainly trust a homeless person or a trucker MUCH farther than I would ever trust my congressional representatives!

Published by pookabazooka

I am an ape living abroad, writing to stay focused and to remember the things I think about. I post them here in case you'd like to spend a bit of time thinking about them, too.

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