It’s been a wild ride, you genetically jacked-up apelings!

Is human civilization on its last legs? According to a recent report, it could all be over as of 2050. So what next?

A recent analysis published by the Breakthrough National Centre for Climate Restoration, a think-tank in Melbourne, Australia, describes climate change as “a near- to mid-term existential threat to human civilization,” and their conclusion is that our precious civilization will likely collapse in 2050. You can read all about it in this article from Vice.

The collapse of human civilization could result in the extinction of our species, simply because we have achieved a level of technology that is beyond the grasp of most everyone on the planet. Even our experts in scientific fields are specialized to their particular fields alone and have no idea of how to deal with others. It’s bad enough that the vast majority of humans today have no idea how to look after themselves. Can you build a viable shelter, or procure your own food in the event of total collapse? Most of us cannot. The few that can, and who may initially survive a complete breakdown of civilization, would find themselves struggling in a new barbaric society, fighting to the death for basic resources.

Forget about rebuilding the power grid or restoring the magic WiFi.

The worst enemy of them all, however, will not even be their fellow humans, but the remnants of what their fellow humans left behind at the height of their technological prowess. Specifically, I am thinking of nuclear power. If we don’t shut down all of the reactors and secure all nuclear materials, no matter your survival skills, you may still die a slow death from radiation sickness when those suckers start to go into meltdown.

Sickness in general from reemergent diseases brought back by the anti-vaccination craze or just the new super-bugs and flesh-eating bacteria would be enough to take out the plucky survivalists left strolling the earth. Survivors may be able to build a lean-to, find potable water, and take down a deer or catch the occasional fish, but I doubt many of them can manufacture their own antibiotics.

In short, it seems we’ve had a good run, but it might be time to accept our collective mortality. Let’s face it, our so-called “world leaders” have no interest in shutting down the fossil fuel industry that is rapidly bringing this doom down upon us. They are beholden to their petroleum-promoting masters. Even now, they are burning down the Amazon Rainforest to make room for soybean cultivation to meet the new demand from China now that Trump has instigated his mind-boggling tariff attack. Under the GOP and their Trumpenstein Monster, the United States has launched a devastating assault on the environment. You can read about just how extensive his assaults have been here. All of the other atrocities they have been giving us to scream at each other about may just be a clever distraction from the real planet-killing agenda. Seriously, just go to Google and type in “Trump rolls back” and read the laundry list of environmental disasters he has in store.


face it, hoo-mans, your world is ending. The Age of Man* is coming to a close, and sadly, the devastation we will leave in our wake just may be enough to kill the entire planet even after we are gone. Now let me get Sci-Fi Conspiracy on you for just a moment… You’ve seen Mars, right? How dead and desolate that place looks? Imagine, if you will, that long, long ago, the species that is our ruling class Wealthy Elite here on Earth, the old billionaire bloodline bunch, did that to Mars. And when that poor planet could no longer support them, they came here to Earth. And now that they have killed the Earth like the cancer they are, they have secretly developed warp technology and will now head out to one of the Earth-like planets they have been discovering in recent years. And they will kill that planet, too. And on and on.

Sounds crazy, right? Yeah… crazy like a doorknob! Now, let me get even crazier and doorknobier. If you read some of my previous posts, you will know that I am one of those kooks who believes that we humans were created as a slave race by extraterrestrials. Laugh all you want, I do believe it. These ETs spliced their own DNA into our primitive genetic code in order to make us clever enough to learn how to use tools and take orders, and then they set us to work in their mines to extract the resources they needed, like gold and whatnot. This is how we learned to think that gold was valuable. They gave us a ruling class with kingships, creating royal bloodlines that were more akin to their DNA than our own, and then they went underground (behind the scenes, so to speak) and have been manipulating us throughout our brief existence through this evil chain of command.

These bloodlines are insane, power-crazed, and consumed by greed. All of us, not just the elite, however, are predisposed to self-destruction. That’s nature’s little fail-safe put in place to deter the irresponsibility of such genetic manipulating. It seems our progenitors were lacking in foresight just as we are, and they created an environmental disaster when they created us, a ticking time bomb that would become more devastating the longer it was allowed to tick. We were doomed from our inception. Sadly, we have reached a point in our technological development where we will take down the entire planet with us. Our creators were as foolish as we are. We are their children, and our apples did not fall too far from the destructive idiot tree.

Will they come and save their more genetically-enhanced pets? Will that be the “Rapture” the Christian Right morons have been hoping for? Good Lord, I hope not. No one deserves to be left to die here in the Hell we’ve created more than they do.

But what about me? Surely I deserve to be Taken Up? Spirited away to a paradise planet full of gorgeous women with which to replenish the species? A planet with a nice, temperate climate, clean water, and plenty of tasty treats growing on bushes? I wanna go to the Big Rock Candy Mountain in the sky! And by the so-called “gods,” I should be allowed to!

And I promise, when I get to this “Heaven,” I will write a bad poem about how wonderful you all were and carve it into a big rock someplace. Won’t that be nice of me?

Alright, I have to get to sleep. First day of a new semester tomorrow. But don’t let that go to your head. If all of this is to be believed, we are running short of tomorrows.



*I do not mean to sound misogynistic with the gender-specific term “Age of Man.” I use this term because I have read that this is where we get the word “world” from — old language roots with the pronunciation coming from a combination of the old words ‘were’ meaning “man” (as in “werewolf = man-wolf”) and ‘eld’, meaning “age,” hence, “Age of Man.” This should actually be OK with women anyway, since this age will come to such a stupid, irresponsible end… well, why not blame it on men? Oh wait — Kellyanne Conway. She’s one of yours. OK, so language be damned, let’s call it the Age of Humans, because we ALL did it. Together! Kumbaya, m’lord!


Published by pookabazooka

I am an ape living abroad, writing to stay focused and to remember the things I think about. I post them here in case you'd like to spend a bit of time thinking about them, too.

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