It’s the End of the World as We Know it and I Feel Fine

Actually, I feel a little rundown. But that’s irrelevant. Let’s look at how the next twenty years could very well see the end of our civilization, and how that will affect ME. Because, in the end, isn’t that what we’re all worried about? Me?

I don’t mean to come off sounding egocentric, or to suggest that I am the only person that matters in the great collapse of things. But let’s face it, all of my life there has really only been me, the entity through which I interact with the rest of you and the world we all perceive. I am sure you have a similar notion about yourself. If not, perhaps you should talk to someone. But not to me. I’m busy. Busy writing crap like this:

You may be aware that back in 1972, some brilliant people at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) came out with a study predicting the collapse of our precarious civilization by the mid-21st century. Their findings were based on the trajectory of our careless pursuit of economic growth and total disregard for our natural environment.

Since then, a new study has come out that says, in short, “Damn, they were right!” This new study comes to us from Sustainability and Dynamic System Analysis Lead at KPMG, Gaya Herrington. You may note that “Gaya” is another name by which we call our very own planet Earth. You may also note that I could not find what the acronym KPMG stands for, but I did learn that it is an Anglo-Dutch multinational professional services network, and one of the Big Four accounting organizations (Wikipedia).

KPMG: Who are they? What are they? WHY are they?

I won’t go into details of the study as you can read those by clicking the link in the previous paragraph. And you can probably guess what the details are if you have been awake at any point in the last thirty years. In short, our lust for greed, sloth, vanity — well, let’s just say the Seven Deadly Sins of human nature — has killed our planet, and this will soon kill us. We are the virus that has killed its host.

You know this. So why am I telling you about it? Because we still need to talk about the real tragedy here: ME. The truth is, I am no tragedy. I’ll be fine. You see, this is why I’m here. I am the sentient entity sent down into the simulation to gather data, a sort of boots-on-the-ground correspondent recording events as they unfold in “real time.” I am only here to observe the last days of this civilization. I will record an entire human lifetime of data — a lifetime that began two years before the MIT report, and which will culminate at some point in the next twenty years along with you and everything you hold dear.

Incidentally, this is also why you have noticed a recent spike in UFO/UAP activity. A lot of species are curious to observe you in your final days, catching the show before it closes.

So don’t worry about me. I have enjoyed the ride. Look at my life — it’s been very easy and carefree, comparatively speaking. My childhood was marked with bountiful birthdays and merry Christmases. I was allowed to drop out of high school when it became boring and tedious. I drifted around in various social circles until I dropped back into the university life, which I admit I did mainly for the social aspects. I went to so many parties! What a carefree existence the life of a college student is. I bounced from major to major, party to party, and even university to university. During that time, I held many odd jobs. Among them, I bagged groceries. I worked in a sandwich shop. I sold men’s clothing in a department store. I worked on the circulation desk at a local newspaper. I worked in the Media Relations office of a university. I even waited tables in a chain restaurant. They all sucked (that chain restaurant gig the most. Tip your servers generously!). But it’s about the experience, really.

I did take a year and a half off after completing my undergraduate degree to work a “real job” at an insurance company in Pittsburgh. You know, get the real working stiff experience, punch in at 9, punch out at 5, etc. But it also sucked, so I enrolled in graduate school and got a Master’s degree. Then I completed work towards a Ph.D., but never got around to completing my dissertation as that was when I started to travel the world.

Yes, I even got to travel the world. I started, as many do, in South Korea, where I lived and worked for several years. Then I went to the Sultanate of Oman and did the same thing there. Then I went back to the USA and took a university gig there in my home state of Pennsylvania. The taxes there were ridiculous, so I left again. All told, I have travelled to over 28 countries, and have lived in three (if you count the USA). I have racked up a lot of experience points.

Incidentally, to those in the USA who are still functioning under the misconception that the USA is the best country in which to live, I must tell you: No, it’s not. Not by a longshot. It may have been thirty or more years ago, and that image is tenacious, but a lot has changed since then. The USA kind of sucks for the average drone. I know a few of you have visited other countries and still prefer the USA, but have you actually lived in another country? Been part of their system? The majority of those who have would not choose the USA as their home. The USA is fine if you’re wealthy, but if you’re not wealthy, it sucks.

I have been very fortunate in that my life was designed to be comfortable. I won’t go into a lot of specifics regarding that as I do not want to sound arrogant or entitled. The facts are the facts, however. For example, right now I am enjoying two months of paid vacation. And I will do it again from January to March. And the job itself is pretty laid-back. Sickening, isn’t it? Keep in mind, my real purpose is to observe and record. I can’t be involved in anything that supersedes that responsibility.

I am not wealthy, and yet I have lived a very comfortable and relatively stress-free life. This is because I am only here to observe. My impact (and carbon footprint) has been kept to a minimum. Although I have lived a very privileged life of college parties and travel, I have never married. I have never even considered getting engaged. And I have no offspring for whom to care. I don’t even have a house plant that relies on me. Sad, yes, but intentional. I was sent here with a simple assignment: Walk around, record my experiences, report what I see in my adventures. And then, when it’s all over (and it soon will be, God help you), I go back to have my brain picked, my memories scanned, and my data collected and analyzed.

Now you are probably asking, “By who? Who sent you?” I really cannot say. I am not currently privy to that information. I assume it is a need-to-know basis thing, and while I am here, I cannot risk giving up any crucial information about the Others that exist all around you. I do not, in my current state, know which race or species I am representing here. I imagine I will be allowed to recall that information when I return. I am looking forward to it as I feel there are people there that I miss dearly. This assignment has been a delight, however, as I find you to be a delightfully fun, imaginative, creative, and caring species.

It’s your choice of leadership with which I take issue. They’re assholes. All of them. Not a good one in the bunch. On the rare occasion that a good one gets through and takes a seat, they are blocked in on all sides so that their good intentions are refused at every turn. I mean, have you ever really looked at your leadership? Take the USA, for example. Every two years they elect new leaders. Every four they elect a new president. But their choice is limited to the point that they really have no choice at all. No matter who you vote for, you’re getting another asshole.

And when your candidate wins, does anything really change? No, it doesn’t. Sure, they give you inconsequential non-issues to argue over, and maybe they make a few superficial changes to create the illusion of activity, but in the end, each and every one of them toes the same line, marches to the same drum, and continues the same destructive course. All they do is keep you busy, stressed, and hungry so that you don’t have time to really do anything about it at all.

I used to worry that your Global Elite were planning to use up all of your natural resources and destroy the Earth, then fly off to some Super-Earth in space, leaving all of you here to die. And now, as I watch your billionaires conducting their own self-glorifying space-race… now I’m REALLY worried. Are you sure your leaders are actually YOU? I’m not going to jump on the Q-Nutter bandwagon here and claim they are indeed Reptilians, but they certainly seem to operate from the reptilian or ‘primal’ brain. They are people that feed on fear, self-preservation, greed, lust, and dominance. They truly are all about themselves, even at the expense of everyone and everything else. Perhaps it is a neurological disorder? And yet, these people have risen to positions of power and prominence throughout your history, right down to the bloodlines.

I remember watching the movie Independence Day (I also watched a LOT of movies while I was here), and I remember I was struck by this one line: “They’re like locusts. They’re moving from planet to planet… their whole civilization. After they’ve consumed every natural resource they move on… and we’re next.” And I wondered… What really happened to Mars?

Anyway, I had fun. I really wish you could have overthrown your destructively evil leaders, saved your planet, and made this civilization work. But look at it. Your oceans are dying. Your climate is changing in such a way that large populated regions are becoming uninhabitable, causing mass migrations and geopolitical instability. There are food shortages and water shortages, and pandemics are becoming the new norm.

On the topic of the current pandemic, have you noticed the COVID-19 virus seems to be getting stronger? After COVID-19 came the Delta variant, then the Lambda variant, and now there is the Delta PLUS variant — the most aggressive and contagious variation yet. Have you considered that this virus might actually be a slow-burn bioweapon, and we are seeing it adapt and evolve? How long until there is an Omega variant — a variant so lethal that it makes smallpox look like the flu?

Any one of these factors or combinations there of spells only one thing: Collapse. From chaos comes order, but from order, chaos. And when civilization does collapse, your world is dotted with nuclear reactors that will break down and flood your atmosphere with deadly radiation. You’re fucked. It’s not a question of “Will you be able to stop it?” but rather “Why weren’t you able to stop it?” That is the true tragedy. Not me. I just get to go home.

I will miss this though. I had a good run. I’ll tell your story. Some might say it is a tragedy through and through. Yet I will try to spin it as a comedy that turned tragic. But don’t feel that I am ditching you and skipping out while the getting is good. Remember, I am here to record as much as I possibly can, so I will be here with you as it all falls apart. I will be more of a spectator than a participant, however, and I am sorry for that, but them’s the rules, as they say.

All I can advise is, just try to enjoy the ride. Go into it with a sense of love and joy. Don’t be dicks. That way, it’ll work out much better for you in the long run. You’ll see what I mean in time.


Published by pookabazooka

I am an ape living abroad, writing to stay focused and to remember the things I think about. I post them here in case you'd like to spend a bit of time thinking about them, too.

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