Killing God

I’m going to kill God. No, no, no, don’t try to talk me out of this. It has to happen. It is long overdue. And it is what God wants. So let’s kill God…

“But how can you kill God?” I suspect someone might ask. “Theologists don’t even know what God is, really, right? So how do you kill something that is so mysterious and yet assumedly omnipotent?” Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ve all heard the arguments before. The great philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche even tried it. He just announced that God was dead. He figured that since we created the concept of God, if he could get everyone to declare God to be dead, then that would be effective. Obviously, not everyone joined his campaign because here we are, with billions of people still behaving as though God still exists. Apologies to Nietzsche, but the rumors of God’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

Horror, sorrow, loneliness, and death still plague humanity on every front. God has only proven to be one thing: Useless. At best, it is deceitful. I can personally attest to the deceit of God. And therefore, God needs to die.

How is God deceitful? Let’s start with a simple assumption that all humanly pursuits are a pursuit of God in some form. Be it philosophy, science, or just trying to get through the day with a scrap of so-called “sanity,” everything we do is an attempt to realize purpose, truth, perfection… “God.” If you know your Baudrillard, then you know such simulacra will never reflect that perfection. God itself as the idea of perfection is a will-o’-the-wisp. Yet even if you are an atheist, you still struggle to better your position in this world, struggle to attain that perfection. Every pinnacle of success just creates a new pinnacle to attain. No matter the lofty heights we may achieve, the world remains a foxhole, and as it has been so eloquently stated before, there are no atheists in a foxhole. Even the most pronounced atheist has at one time or another, attempted even the briefest communication with a higher power.

And it is this higher power that I am now attacking. And I attack because of its constant deceit. How many times has someone risen to a prominent leadership position in religious circles, called their followers together to await the promised End of Days, only to have nothing materialize? They slink away into the shadows, clinging to the few mindless adherents that will still swallow their bullshit, and disappear from human history until the next anointed leader makes another pointless prediction, another failed prophesy. Once again, their flocks will gather on the hillside, sing gospel songs, and await nothing. Deceived yet again.

And it’s not just the religious. It’s not just the political. It’s ALL of us. In some form or another, whatever we perceive this “higher power” to be, it will always leave us abandoned and fooled. Bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Until we find the only real truth, the only true divine, was within us all along. And just as Nietzsche hinted, we just have to declare it to be so, because really, even that which lies within us still lies. We must lie to ourselves to make that connection so that we can feel whole enough to continue our daily struggles. Many just choose to ignore it altogether, and this may very well be the wisest move one can make.

Let me give you my own personal example. I have spent my life pursuing that wiliest of will-o’-the-wisps, the UFO (now UAP) phenomenon. And if you chase this wisp long enough, you realize that it is connected to all other “paranormal” phenomena. You can click that link to pursue that rabbit, but let’s just move forward as though we are all already on the same page because we have a lot to cover. Killing God is no small task.

When you study the millions and millions of “close encounter” contact stories, you find one common thread: There is really no common thread. People will say there is one, they will cherry-pick these stories to support whatever narrative they believe: gray entities, about three feet tall, with large, black insect-like eyes will suck them through their bedroom walls and take them aboard a saucer-like craft and then probe them. These “Grays” tell them they are from Zeta Reticuli, and tell them that humans need to take better care of the Earth. And we do, there’s no doubt about that. Yet this is the current popular fairy tale of UFOs. But there are so many others. Sometimes the craft is triangular, diamond-shaped, donut-shaped, cigar, boomerang, football, or house-shaped, sometimes they appear with the literal letters “U-F-O” painted brightly on the side. The entities that pilot them look human, they look like robots, they have round, bulbous heads, they’re tall, short, furry, or faerie-like. Or they are wrapped like mummies with three carrots sticking out of their heads. They represent a higher power to many, and many firmly believe that these “extraterrestrial” entities created us mere humans. And if one reads any of humanity’s religious texts from this perspective, it will appear to be an open-and-shut case of extraterrestrial intervention.

Those that proclaim to have continued contact with the occupants of these craft, “contactees” as they are called, all are told wild stories containing various information in regard to the origin of the “aliens” or ultra-terrestrials or MIB or EBEs or whatever they have been shown. I know because I am a so-called “contactee.” If you read earlier posts on this blog, or even buy a copy of my shitty book from Amazon or wherever you can find obscure one-off pieces of literary crap, you can read all about my interaction with these entities. Mine look human, claim to be humans from another dimension, “ultra-terrestrials” as they are called in the folklore. They show me cool gadgets that can change the qualities of physical matter and repel rain better than our 4,000-year-old umbrellas, an ancient technology that we still have not updated.

But here is the only “truth” that I have come to: None of it is real. Oh, it SEEMS real. I believe it IS real, and so for me it is. But no, it’s not. In fact, NONE of this is real until we decide as a collective that it is real. And this goes not only for “extraterrestrials” and “ultra-terrestrials,” but for the laptop or smart phone you may be reading this on, the chair you may be sitting in, the cat or dog you may be petting, the very clothes on your naked-ape ass. It is real only because we have agreed that it is real.

Something that mystics have known since the dawn of creation, and that our smartest physicists are just now starting to realize, is that consciousness creates reality. Our collective consciousness defines our world. All of it, from the most beautiful sunrise to the ugliness of war, we are doing this to ourselves. We have tried to simplify it so that we could have some sense of normality, we created the concept of an omnipotent entity, “God,” to help us through the ugliness we ourselves create, and we create a “Devil” to blame when shit doesn’t go our way. As Tom Waits sang, “Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, that’s just God when he’s drunk.” And really, it’s all just us. As the Pogo cartoon strip once famously declared, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

Gogito, ergo sum. “I think, therefore I am.” – René Descartes

“I am that I am.” – “God” to Abraham (Exodus 3:14)

“I am what I am.” – Popeye the Sailor Man

Consciousness begets reality, and reality reflects consciousness as well as shapes it. But the latter part of that last sentence is only true because we accept it as true. All of this, ALL, is just us accepting it as a collective consciousness. I have talked before about the Princeton Global Consciousness Project. We have seen the results of the double-slit experiment and the realization of the Heisenberg, or “uncertainty,” Principle.

I won’t go over all of that again. Follow the links, watch the video, pick up a fuckin’ book there, Schrödinger. It’s all true and none of it is. But the basic fact remains: Consciousness creates reality, on a micro (individual) and macro (collective) level. We are doing this to ourselves. As a whole, of course, the collective consciousness has more power than the individual consciousness. We are learning to be one — and that, my dear doppelganger, is “God.” It is consciousness.

From here on, I am going to refer to God as “IT.” Because, just like the monster in the Stephen King novel, “IT” is what we make of it. IT takes on the form of our own consciousness. And IT eats children. We made it that way. And we dressed it up as a clown, which I love. Thank you, Stephen King.

Our collective consciousness creates reality, but every consciousness has a shadow aspect, a sub-consciousness. And this is what is behind the things we call “paranormal.” UFOs, extra- and ultra-terrestrials, cryptids, poltergeists, every form of boogum ever reported and accepted or rejected by the collective. Encountering them is like something out of a dream state. We can’t make sense of it until we address it from a wakened state and assign it classifications based on our concepts of reality. Quite often, like our dreams, they cannot be classified and so cannot last in rational memory and soon fade back into the subconscious. If the appearances are just too much for our conscious minds, we simply forget them as soon as they end, we do not see what our minds cannot handle. This is known as negative hallucination. But once it is accepted, it becomes part of the consciousness, what we call “reality.”

I will address this now solely from my own experiences as these are what I have. UFOs always mimic our current technologic understandings. Ezekiel saw wheels within wheels. The armies of Alexander the Great saw flaming shields. Medieval folk saw faeries and elves. In the 1890s, at the height of the zeppelin craze, it was mystery airships, and then came the space-age, and we got spaceships and little green (gray) men. Now we are delving into quantum entanglement and multiverses, so we are seeing ultra-terrestrials.

Never alone: We painted IT on cave walls 10,000 years ago.

But It has always been here, right alongside us. We are not alone. We have never been alone. We have always been here, and so has It because that is us. We have painted It on the walls of our caves before we were able to put It in our movies. It has been all things unknown and unknowable. We have called It by many names, and yes, those names have included “God” or “YHWH” or “Bob.” Are there other consciousnesses besides ours? Obviously. The universe we are growing in is vast and well-populated. Other consciousnesses have developed longer and farther than we have, but we’re getting there and It is guiding us in our development. But whatever It is, It has always really just been different faces on the same entity: The subconscious of our collective consciousness. And It lies, it deceives, because that is who we are. It tells the devout followers to await Its final arrival on some lonely hillside and then never shows up. It promises predictions to be fulfilled, and they never are. It sells us eternal life, and then we up and die anyway. It is the falsehood of our own nature.

But we are not always false, and neither is It. Sometimes, It speaks the truth and It can show us amazing things that we already knew, we just forgot. We buried It deep in our own subconscious, and then one bright, sunny day It bubbles back to the surface. We call these “epiphanies,” “inspiration,” and “divine intervention.” But it’s really just us remembering shit from before. This is why we can look at our old texts that have become religious dogma and say, “Hey, wait a second… did Ezekiel see a spaceship?” No! And Yes! It depends on what we believe, what we accept as reality. The cat in the box is both alive and dead until we open the box and accept a reality.

Look at the featured image of this blog post again. It’s a doctored image of the famous God and Adam painted by Michelangelo. Why do you think he painted God inside a brain? And God’s not alone in that brain.

Those of us who see “UFOs” and interact with “ultraterrestrials” do so simply because we have accepted them as part of our reality. Same as those who encounter ghosts or elves or Elvis. Skeptics, non-believers, will never believe it simply because they will never believe it. Seeing really is believing, but believing is seeing, see? As a child, when I first picked up a book about UFOs from my elementary school library, I believed the stories I read. Not long after, I saw a UFO of my very own, and that cemented the reality for me. I saw a “spaceship,” so it logically followed in my mind that there was some sort of being piloting that ship, and bam — there he was! I pursued that will-o-the-wisp, and the farther I went, the more real it became, the more detailed my visitations were, to the point that I was hanging out in a hotel bathroom, standing in the shower, and marveling at how the device in my hand was moving the water around me. Did that really happen? In my mind, yes. I have a clear memory of it. But was it real? Who’s to say? It’s real if we believe it. I believe it. Do you? Will we ever, as a collective consciousness, accept it as real? Until we do, then it only exists for me. But if we accept it, we will soon be talking to ourselves on a whole new level. But until that happens, we have no control over It, and we are at the mercy of IT. We are too impulsive to develop as a fully realized adult consciousness.

If you have also been pursuing this eternal entity, and you are aware of the works of investigators like John Keel, Jacques Vallee, Linda Moulton Howe and so many others, then you know these UFO/UAP, Men-In-Black, Faerie folk, and assorted phantoms are a reflection of a consciousness, and there is an intelligence behind it, but I believe that a large part of how we perceive that intelligence is us. We are creating our reality without realizing that we are largely responsible for it. Every once in a while, we make a connection, and we catch a glimpse of ourselves, but we don’t recognize the full aspect of our consciousness. We see disconnected events, “miracles” and magic. We think it’s a simulation, we find “glitches in the matrix.” We discover unnerving and irreconcilable information like the so-called “Mandela Effect.” Is that real? It depends on whom you ask, but for me, no. I think people just have flawed memory. Just as Nietzsche, we are only perceiving a single aspect of the larger whole, and it is all connected, we are all one. We perceive ourselves as individual consciousnesses, separated by these meat-bag puppets we drive around. In fact, we are all connected on a higher level. And we are slowly realizing that this simulation, this “matrix,” is really just us making the shit up as we go, stumbling along like the toddlers we are, bumping into stuff, falling on our butts and spilling our juice boxes everywhere, making everything sticky. But like all children learning the world, we have guides.

That is essentially what we have been doing all along. I and people like me have been chasing our own tails, in a figurative sense. Chasing our own tales, ha, I made a pun! It’s wild. It’s thrilling. And it is our reality. The conscious mind has a subconscious, and one day, these two sides of the same coin must reconcile. We must achieve some sort of super-consciousness, where the dreams and the waking reality are merged. It is in this blended twilight zone that these “Gods,” these omnipotent and immortal entities, exist. We must meet them, and ourselves, there, and then, yes, indeed, the old prophecies will become true: We will become God. We will be able to create our perfect world just by thinking it into existence. We’re already doing it. We’ve been doing it since we became conscious. We’re yet just infantile, we’re still learning of our ability, mastering its use.

This is The Great Work that I reference in my book and in other posts on this blog. God wants to die, it has to die for us to be born, but It cannot kill Itself. And so It (we) have created this elaborate system to provide ourselves a means to that end. We’re a killing machine – a God-killing machine. We need to die in this reality in order to awaken in our true reality, to the realization of our full potential. And it is not a literal death — please, no suicides. We’ve lost enough people to that dark aspect of this will-o’-the-wisp. This is a figurative death, in that all of these encounters are figurative. It is the language of the subconscious mind, symbology. We are looking into the abyss, and we are looking back at ourselves. So yes, we are just realizing this ability, this reality, this potential.

But we’re getting there. And this universe can have only one “God,” and it is to be us. So get ready, YHWH, or whatever the fuck we’re calling you today, your “eternal” days are numbered. Just as we finally get that eternal life, we will trade you our mortality. It’s no different, really. We’ve been you and you have been us all along.

But I’m still gonna kill you. I think I’ve earned that right. After wasting my life pursuing you in the form of “UFOs” and then everything else “paranormal,” to end up where I am, middle-aged, alone, broke and abandoned by you and your false promises, oh yes, my old friend, yes. I am done. And you’re going to die by my hand. I am through chasing you into the shadows, playing the fool. You haven’t been my friend, you’ve been my Nemesis, and this blog post is just the beginning. This is my warning to you: I see you. You are in my sights. And as Rutger Hauer said to C. Thomas Howell in the movie The Hitcher, “Squeeze the trigger, ’cause you can sure as shit bet I’m gonna squeeze mine.”


But if I may cut the bravado for a moment, I do not want to give these other “entities” the wrong impression. It’s just that I have been left uncontacted for so long now that I am worried there may be a rift. I will defend myself if I must, and I likely have no chance at succeeding, but I do know more about this situation than most. Let me explain:

Due to an unwillingness of contactees and other eyewitnesses to go “on the record” with the military/government, private investigators like those mentioned earlier have a much completer and more detailed dataset, which gives us a clearer view of the phenomenon as a whole. The military industrial/government agencies all still look at It as a potential threat to national security, be it alien or otherwise — they still see It as a single, material entity that may or may not attack. They lack the full scope because they do not know how to ask questions beyond their training, and no one wants to share details with them for fear of ridicule or even persecution. They are still grabbing at straws. Publicly admitting that UAPs are real was their way of asking for help. It’s sad, really. All of the billions and billions of dollars they pour into their military industrial complex, and they are dumbfounded. Scientists on their payroll have been force-financed into dogma and are incapable of thinking in the manner necessary to realize the full spectrum of It. They have been cowed by the fear of losing their funding, which is what happens to scientists who speak out against the accepted scientific system (which is obviously in error if they are still thinking in terms of “space invaders”).

So yes, with what I know, I might actually inflict some damage and I hope that it hasn’t come to that. I may inflict some damage, but I have no delusions of grandeur. If it came to that, the best thing that could happen to me is that I cease to exist. I obviously do not want any of that. So, what gives? There is clearly an intelligence behind It, and It is a system of social programming. Seemingly random points of contact, providing confusing messages, are in fact very intricately orchestrated as a means to an end. They are the foundations of our religions. And the orchestration is well beyond our current understanding. As one “ancient” writer posed, “They walk not in the spaces we know, but between them.” They move behind and between the scenery of our reality, outside of time and space and yet manipulating it on all sides, guiding us to the realizations we must make on our own, corralling us toward the fate we must face.

Yet it would appear that the entire scheme is designed in a way to purposefully avoid deceitful and power-hungry governments. It is designed to work around the human system in order to relate directly to the population as a whole. People often ask, “If extraterrestrials exist, why don’t they just land on the White House lawn?” You’ve seen the U.S. government. At the very least they should be ostracized. Corrupt incompetence shouldn’t be sitting atop one of the most powerful nations on Earth. It should be sitting in a corner thinking about what it has done. It won’t talk to them. It knows better. As I have said before, as an expat who regularly interacts with people from all over the world: People get along well. It’s governments that cause the problems.

I don’t want to be a problem. I want to talk to my friends again. For me, it started small, as it does with most people, in ways we may not even consciously notice. Sounds that have no clear origin; a disembodied voice saying a short phrase, clear as a bell, perhaps speaking something which makes no sense until years later in life. Having a song pop into your head, and then hearing that song when you turn on the radio in your car. Or a scene from a TV show or movie you enjoyed years ago, and then having that very scene pop up on your TV that night. Lights in the sky, knocking at the foot of your bed, or a sudden epiphany that sets you on a path that you had never known even existed. And the more you notice It, the more It shows you. The more it talks to you.

Until one day, it seems to just break your brain and leave. Or…

Or? I am waiting. Something’s gotta pop soon.

Published by pookabazooka

I am an ape living abroad, writing to stay focused and to remember the things I think about. I post them here in case you'd like to spend a bit of time thinking about them, too.

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