Killing God (Book II)

This is a rant about nothing. What the hell, it worked for Seinfeld.

In my previous post, I waxed philosophical about how realizing that it is our own consciousness that is responsible for our reality will be the elixir that finally finishes what Nietzsche started and kills God – or at least the concept of a god. And I stand by this.

However, as we are now beginning to realize, the universe itself may be a neural network, and our consciousness may merely be an attribute of the larger consciousness of that said God. We may merely be the voices in God’s head, as depicted in the painting I used for these posts, in the original work by Michaelangelo. If you read my earlier rantings, this is what I have been getting at the whole time.

God as a multiple-personality type brain

As we make up the thoughts that create our universe, our reality, we create the boogums that haunt us and perplex us and make us question that same reality by way of a collective subconscious paired to our collective consciousness. Our task is to reconsile these two sides of the same coin to create a super-consciousness, a waking state in which we can manifest whatever reality we can dream up. Taking lucid dreaming out of the dream-state and creating it here in the “real” world should be easy once we realize that both conscious states, the dream and the wakeful, are the same thing. This is what these entities from our subconscious have been hinting at the entire time. And this is what I am voicing to you here with my inane ramblings. I am one with the boogums!

Let’s go thought a simple thought experiment. A person stands alone on a beach or in a field or on the rooftop of a parking garage, wherever. They see what appears to be a glowing object or set of lights cruising slowly across the sky. As they notice it, it changes direction and speeds away. Now the person makes an assumption: It changed direction and speed, so therefore it must be intelligently controlled. This means that there was some sort of entity inside the object, which is now understood — without so much as a moment of clarifying choice — to be a vehicle of some sort. The vehicle appeared unfamiliar (unlike an airplane or a helicopter) and maneuvered in a way that human-manufactured vehicles cannot, therefore it must be inhuman, or “alien.” So now the person has gone from seeing some sort of luminescent phenomenon to witnessing an alien craft without consciously taking these logistical steps from “phenomenon” to “spaceship.” And this happens not according to the reality of the phenomenon itslef, but according to our interpretation of that phenomenon, and this is influenced solely by our current technological understanding. Lights in the sky = aircraft, aircraft = pilot, pilot = entity, advanced = alien. Now that we are seeing more drones than manned craft, we are considering that these UAPs may be unoccupied, but we are not yet completely embracing the possibility that these “lights” are themselves conscious and feeding off of our thoughts to create a method of communication that they figure we will understand, or more easily accept.

We get excited about seeing such things as the media has programmed us to get excited, and we see our own interpretation of the fluid reality which is so much more than we can currently absorb. Now that we have an alien craft, we have created an alien pilot to be flying it. And a few days later, we see the same thing again, only this time contact is initiated according to the reality of the phenomenon that we have created in our minds. The pilot is now introduced, and they appear as… whatever we perceive them to be. Bug-eyed grays, humanoid, beautiful Nordics, or just some guys in coveralls. They are whatever our subconscious is set to create them as. And then they give us some pancakes or tell us something completely bizarre to confuse us (because the experience itself will be confusing) and disappear. Depending on how this initial contact goes, it sets the tone for our future interactions. If we find ourselves scared, or even ridiculed if we share the experience, then it will likely not occur again as we do not like to subject ourselves to unpleasant stimuli. It eventually fades into a dream-like memory or is forgotten altogether. However, if we find the experience pleasant, then there will be more contact in the future, and each time, it will become more intense, more real because that is what we want. We manifest our own reality.

This is what happened in my case. My first experience took place when I was a child. I had an imaginary friend I called “Bucket” because he wore what appeared to be a bucket on his head. He appeared in the back yard of my grandparents’ house as I was playing alone and wishing my friends from my old home were there. I had manifested a new friend. I asked my sister about this yesterday, and she remembered me talking about Bucket when we were children.

Then, around that same age, I got my hands on a book about UFOs from my school library. I read a story about ancient cave paintings that depicted extraterrestrials wearing helmets. I connected this to Bucket, and the bucket on his head now seemed to be a helmet of some sort that my young brain had not recognized as a helmet. You know how they say art imitates life/life imitates art. It is a constant give-and-take of creativity. The next time I saw Bucket, he confirmed that he was not from Earth. And his features changed to reflect a different lineage than that of a native human. Now I was seeing spaceships and aliens on a regular basis. I felt a connection to a higher consciousness, and it made me feel special, and this only re-enforced the connection. Soon “It” was telling me things about my world — and amazingly, the things I was told would often turn out to be true. As I grew older, I came to understand that this connection, this entity, “It,” had an intelligence behind it. It was a reflection of my own intelligence, and yet it was independent. It was an actual entity that had taken on a life of its own. It became a trusted friend and has been ever since. And it was no longer just one entity but an entire race of entities, and “we” began to think in that way.

I have always wondered if I am the only one whose inner monologue is in the first-person plural: We should get some lunch. We should go see a movie today. We should stay in tonight and read a book. I’ve been doing it since my first childhood encounters with Bucket. In my case, it grew out of a deep sense of childhood loneliness. I played by myself more than I did with other children, and I had taken to talking to myself, and that “self” became Bucket, which became an entire network of other-worldly friends. And they became independent of my thoughts and were able to teach me things that I hadn’t known before – or, if I am correct in believing that reincarnation is real, I did know them before, just not in my current conscious life. But that’s a whole other can of worms.

“Can a Christian believe in reincarnation?” Absolutely. When Christ talked of being born again, he was speaking quite literally.

My point is, my desire for friends caused my subconscious to tap into that collective energy and create an entire set of independent friends that would appear to me at random times in my life, times when I felt isolated or alone or stressed. Jump ahead to 2010 when I am out drinking with an old friend who turned out to be one of these entities, a woman that showed me a device that could repel water and pass through solid objects. She told me that someday soon, similar devices would replace the cumbersome umbrellas that our race still uses to keep the rain off our heads. She explained the technology to me and I would really like to find someone with a more technical mind than I possess to develop a patentable prototype because our current state of technology is clearly capable of producing such a device and yes, I would like to be a billionaire, thank you very much.

But don’t take my word for it. Look at all of the other examples of people having similar experiences. Just go pick up a book by Jacques VallĂ©e or John Keel or William Bramley (not his real name). I have mentioned these authors before, and they are all following the ideas set forth by Charles Fort, who gave all of this the term “Fortean phenomena.” Believe me when I tell you that the stories they share are very similar to my own. It was my experiences that brought me to their books, not the other way around. Although once I started reading theirs, they manifested events in my own experiences. As I said, it is a give-and-take phenomenon, it is a two-way street. We create “God” as “God” creates us.

Here is one example: When I first read John Keel’s The Mothman Prophecies, I had just broken up with my girlfriend and moved into my own little apartment in Pittsburgh. As you can imagine, it was a stressful time, and I was feeling lonely. It was a prime time for a new manifestation from my “friends.” I had just started reading a chapter of the book entitled, “Wake Up Down There!” about people in the town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia (not far from where I was currently living, in the Ohio River Valley) who received strange phone calls during their weirdest year on record. Check out the book (don’t waste your time with the movie) to see how this was an example of the collective consciousness phenomenon – the entire town had these experiences.

Anyway, the chapter described weird phone calls that sounded like a man speaking very quickly in some unknown language or were just a weird series of random beeps. As soon as I read that sentence, my landline phone rang (this was in 2001 and we all still had landlines back then). I answered it and heard a random series of beeps. This was during the age of dial-up internet and fax machines, so I was well aware of those sounds, and this was certainly none of that. So, I tried to talk with it. The beeps would stop, then start again, and after thirty seconds or so, the call disconnected. It wasn’t until I had hung up that I felt a twinge of fear. I slept with the lights on for a few nights after that. I would sleep with the lights on frequently in my life in the years that followed.

Incidentally, I never saw Bucket again, but I did have a few face-to-face meetings with other entities. The woman whose name I will not mention, who is very dear to me, in fact, and so I have a sense of a need to protect her, is very real to me. We have gone out drinking, as I mentioned, and she has interacted with at least one other person in the event. This probably raises the question, “Is it a Harvey situation, where they see you sitting there talking to no one? Or is this manifestation so clear that they see her, too?” As it so happens, I have asked the bartender at one pub in the days following, and she told me that I had indeed been sitting and chatting with a female, and the description matched. At the time, however, I had been acting under the assumption that the woman was a former co-worker and friend, but then after leaving her company, I realized I had never seen her before in my life. I even contacted other friends who had worked at the job I had connected her to and asked, “Did we work with a M___?” and they had told me they’d never heard the name.

So, what exactly was happening there? Is it my consciousness projecting a very real individual? Is she creating a wall in my consciousness so that I will feel a sense of recognition and openly communicate with her? Or is it all just a delusional dream that I share with a very real bartender? Or is it all an illusion? Once you slip down that rabbit hole of “Is this even real?” it’s over. We must accept some form of our conscious reality as “real” or just check ourselves into the booby-hatch and watch the ducks. The choice is simply one of which reality we will subscribe to. For me, I have been subscribing to this weird reality of mine since Bucket first appeared behind my grandparents’ house. I am guessing Bucket became a woman when I decided women were more interesting than some dude with a bucket on his head.

Hey, baby, you lookin’ fiiiiiine!

I am functioning under the assumption that while I had a hand in creating this reality, there is another intelligence working on the other side of it as well. How else would it be able to tell me things that I do not know? How can it show me technologies that I could never develop and explain how they work, or teach me things about our physical universe that are simply not known until years later when they get published in a scientific journal? For example, this story:

When my family moved from my grandparents’ house to our new home on the edge of town, we lived at the foot of a mountain known locally as Pickle Hill. It was a run-off of the Appalachian chain in northern Pennsylvania. I used to hike up this hill, following the deer trails that ran through the forest to a set of huge stones that were apparently glacial deposits. I used to sit on top of these stones, sometimes with a campfire going, and sit and watch the star-filled sky. And on more than one occasion, one or two of my friends would appear and chat with me. One night as we sat there, staring off into literal space, I was thinking about how black the sky around the Milky Way was. I asked them if the universe itself was all black, or if they considered the colors of the celestial objects to reflect the color of our universe. “Hard to say,” was their answer. I pressed on as an inquisitive child will: “So what color is the universe?”

“It’s beige,” they said. I was disappointed with this answer. Beige is such a blah color, certainly not fitting of a universe. I would rather it had been black. But there it was. Years later, I told this story to a college girlfriend. And a few years after that, we had stayed in touch on Facebook, and she sent me this article: And the Color of the Universe is… Surprise.

These entities have told me other things that turned out to be true. After my father died, they told me my family would be relocating to a house closer to Pickle Hill. They told me this by manifesting my dead father in a very traumatic event that I was later told had been a test of my ability to process shocking information. And after that, they proceeded to provide me with shocking information. If I am the one entirely responsible for these manifestations, how is it that I am telling myself things that I could never even have imagined?

And I am not the only one. Just dig around in this weird world and you will start to experience these things as well. The thing is most people don’t want anything to do with the weird malleability of our reality. They need things to be hard, fast truths or they feel uncomfortable. I am one of those that embraces the weird, and you get what you order from this reality. And like attracts like. The weird seem to seek me out, and the ones that are upset by the weird tend to move away from me like you would move away from the guy rambling about Jewish space lasers at a bus stop.

If you are still reading this, congratulations – you are one of the weird. And hopefully you have had some of your own experiences. I would love to hear about them. Maybe we have some mutual friends?

As I said, you can find all sorts of stories like mine if you just open yourself, or just open a book (previously mentioned authors suggested). Here is one that seems pertinent to my point right now. It was first published by John Keel in The Mothman Prophecies, and is the account of a young woman who has also experienced this phenomenon I am now calling “It”:

“A few days later, on May 17, Jane answered the phone (she had her own phone in her room) and a strange metallic voice addressed her. “Listen carefully,” it said. “I cannot hear you.” It instructed her to go to a small public library nearby and look up a certain book on Indian history.

“She did as she was instructed. On May 19 she went to the library at 10:30 A.M. The place was deserted except for the librarian who struck Jane as being unusual. The woman was ‘dressed in an old-fashioned suit like something out of the 1940s, with a long skirt, broad shoulders, and flat old-looking shoes.’ She had a dark complexion, with a fine bone structure, and very black eyes and hair. When Jane entered, the woman seemed to be expecting her and produced the book instantly from under her desk.

“Jane sat down at a table and began to riffle through the book, pausing on page forty-two [Note from Ape: Any Douglas Adams fans reading this?] Her caller had told her to read that page.

“‘You won’t believe this,’ she told me, ‘but the print became smaller and smaller, then larger and larger. It changed into a message and I can remember every word of it.

‘”Good morning, friend,’ it began. ‘You have been selected for many reasons. One is that you are advanced in autosuggestion. Through this science we will make contact. I have sent messages concerning Earth and its people. The time is set. Fear not… I am a friend. For reasons best known to ourselves you must make your contacts known to one reliable person. To break this code is to break contact. Proof shall be given. Notes must be kept of the suggestion state. Be in peace, [signed] A Pal.’

‘”The print became very small again, and then the normal text reappeared.’

The bit with the book kinda reminds me of this scene from the classic film Harvey.

‘”As soon as Jane left the library, she became quite ill and vomited several times during the next two days. She approached Miss Paro with her story and was advised to get in touch with me. Her experience on the Mount, her phone call, and the remark about ‘autosuggestion’ all stirred my interest. In those days none of the UFO enthusiasts knew anything about these factors and a hoax seemed very unlikely. And, unknown to Miss Paro and Jane, I was in touch with a distant contactee who was communicating with ‘Apholes.’ The signature ‘A Pal’ seemed close enough to Apholes to take seriously. I suspected that Jane had been programmed for a set of special experiences and I kept in constant touch with her in the months which followed, maintaining an extensive record of her experiences.

“In early June, Jane began to see the ‘librarian’ wherever she went. On June 6, while wandering through a local department store, the woman appeared behind a dress rack. She wore the same old-fashioned clothes and tried to speak to Jane in ‘broken English’. There was something wrong about her speech and movements. ‘It was as if… she were dead,’ Jane said. When asked if she lived around Babylon, the woman laughed in a strange hysterical way, ‘like an emotionally disturbed person.’ (This weird laugh has been described by many contactees.)

‘”Is there any A-U here?’ the woman asked. Jane didn’t know what she meant. Just that week I had been pondering the significance of gold in UFO and religious lore. Gold is the seventy-ninth element and the chemical symbol for it is AU.

“Jane offered to give the woman a lift but she declined and wandered off.

“Unable to sleep at night, Jane got up at the crack of dawn the following morning and went for a walk on an impulse. The dark-skinned woman stepped out of an alley and approached her shyly. ‘Peter is coming,’ she announced.

“This statement shook Jane. She remembered that Catholic lore predicts that the final pope will be named Peter.

‘”Why are you interested in our mount?’ the woman continued, then repeated, ‘Peter is coming very soon.’

“Next a large black Cadillac came down the street and stopped next to them. It was ‘brand-new, vey shiny and polished,’ Jane recalled. The driver was an olive-skinned man wearing wrap-around sunglasses and dressed in a neat gray suit, apparently of the same material as the woman’s clothes. The rear door opened, and a man climbed out with a big grin on his face. … He had the air of someone very important and was dressed in a well-cut, expensive-looking suit of the same gray material that was shiny like silk but was not silk.

“He solemnly shook hands with the girl, ‘his hand was as cold as ice,’ and stared at her steadily with his jet-black eyes, grinning all the while.”

The account continues to discuss Jane’s further encounters with these entities. The things that stand out to me are the gray color of the clothing, dark eyes, and wrap-around sunglasses. Gary extraterrestrials are often described as having black “wrap-around” eyes. Also, the grinning man is a common image in this phenomenon. He often appears over people’s beds and the large grin is often seen as somehow reptilian by many. If you’ve ever looked at a lizard’s mouth, you may see the reason for this connection.

In one encounter with the woman, Jane describes how she again asked about AU, and then took an egg from her refrigerator and sucked out the contents, “like a reptile.” You can see where people may confuse these entities with a reptilian species. I have come to consider this a connection to the primitive or “reptilian” part of the human brain – the bit concerned with self-preservation, impulses, and fight-or-flight mechanisms. It’s no coincidence that reptilian-brained people tend to rise to positions of power in our society. They are greedy, self-serving, and aggressive. And this is why people tend to see a decidedly “reptilian” visage in these types of personalities. Again, It is a reflection of ourselves. Another curious point is the mention of Jane being susceptible to autosuggestion, which some researchers say suggests a connection to domestic intelligence agencies and their activities with thought control, such as the CIA’s now-infamous MK-Ultra experiments.

Also, the brand-new Cadillac is a common element in accounts of encounters with the legendary Men in Black. They are known to travel in threes, and they seem to prefer cruising into town in vintage yet brand-new looking Caddies. Say what you want about these stoic entities, they do have style.

Another interesting point is how the phenomenon, “It,” seems to tap into our own deep-seeded reference points, as it did with Jane’s Catholic upbringing and knowledge of the importance of the name ‘Peter.’ I have also noticed that it holds to the rules of the game of mystics – initially, they cannot enter your home without an invitation (most contactees/abductees misinterpret the first-contact experience and often invite the entity in simply by expressing curiosity), and these entities can be bound by rules. For example, when I am visited, I always say, “Enter as a true friend or don’t enter at all.” And my experiences have always been pleasant and non-deceitful. I have read many accounts of unwilling “abductees” who cry out for Jesus and are then left alone by the invading “alien” presence. They attribute this to the notion that these entities are demonic and fear Christ, but I have come to think that they are creating the scenarios themselves (at least partially), and so any magic word they believe in will work just as effectively. No one is forced to endure these experiences. On some level, it is a choice. If they are horrible, painful, or terrifying (and for many, they are), then that is an issue within the individual’s own mind, such as a blocked traumatic experience. If one is at peace with oneself, then these encounters are quite enjoyable. It’s similar to a very powerful acid trip. I’ve never had a bad one, and I have even tried to have a bad one, just for the experience. I did everything you’re not supposed to do on acid, including playing with a Ouija board and looking into a mirror. I even dropped right after I had my heart broken. I ended up laughing at myself for being so stupid.

There is a common theme reflected in so many encounters, and yet there are so many varying elements and so many accounts that appear, at least on the surface, to be completely unique. It screams at us to react, and yet it mirrors our reaction until it diverts at some random point to create an entirely new mythology of itself. It would appear that not only is our very reality conscious, but it is schitzophrenic – or at least suffering from a very complex multiple-personality disorder. I think this is simply because we have not learned to harmonize our thoughts as a collective consciousness. It’s like three children trying to control the same video game character. And yes, I am well aware that I am saying it is a reflection of our individual consciousnesses as well, so yeah — I told you I’m fuckin’ nuts. Apparently, I am in the right world. But what is really interesting to me today is the fact that we have reached a point — collectively — at which we are acknowledging that UFOs (now officially UAPs) are real. Lord knows we’ve been psyching ourselves up for it since the Space Age began. This is going to be interesting! A landing/first contact scenario cannot be far off. And the thing is, will it actually be extraterrestrials, or just another reflection of It? How will this new take on our collective reality manifest itself?

Adam has one Hell of a thought bubble

So, what is my point? Nothing, as I said. And everything. I guess my point is that there is an intelligence behind these phenomena and is it all the same phenomenon. They are It, and It is connected to our own subconscious. We are not alone because we are here, and we are very complex as a consciousness. We are new, we are creating a reality as we develop, and we are becoming something that is so much more than the reality we have currently accepted. We are It, and It is us. And yet… there is something else there as well, I think. Something is connecting to us from beyond the Veil of this reality. We are reaching out to one another like neurons forming a new synapse in some great brain. It is interesting that Jane describes the weird librarian in her encounters as seemingly dead – there is something beyond our physical “reality” that we are creating, and it is, to our understanding, death. There is another world there. I have read about NDEs (Near-Death Experiences) in which the recently-deceased have encountered what appear to be the typical “Gray” entities who show them images of a horrible environmental disaster in our world if we do not change our self-destructive ways. Perhaps these entities are simply existing in a world that is blocked from our physical senses. In fact, I am certain of it. We are meant to connect to it, we are meant to achieve that super-consciousness I mentioned earlier. All I am doing is offering what pieces of the puzzle I am holding. What have you got? As I saw on a sticker someone handed to me at my first Grateful Dead concert many years ago: Something new is waiting to be born. It reminds me of W.B. Yeats’s poem “Second Coming”: And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

And here we go.

I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together

Goo goo g’joob, y’all.

End note: I have this idea now that there are more people like me out there, and we are learning more about how to create our own realities. There is likely a secret society of people that are the reality behind legends like that of Count St. Germaine, people who have to create new lives and identities because they cannot explain how they have changed (or not) over the ages. I hope to become like that. So, if you hear one day that I have suddenly disappeared or died…

In closing, THIS:

That video just landed in my inbox a day after I posted this blog. I finally got around to watching it. This is what I am on about. This is a calling.

Published by pookabazooka

I am an ape living abroad, writing to stay focused and to remember the things I think about. I post them here in case you'd like to spend a bit of time thinking about them, too.

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