And Now, A Distraction!

This is a hypothetical piece written by a hypothetical friend living a hypothetical life in the USA. Read on to be enraged!

Our son had a birthday coming up, and he specifically requested a single gift – but it was a massive thing. It was so big that there was no discreet way to have it delivered. I had it shipped to my work address, but it was too big to keep there until the big day.  I had to take it home, and it wouldn’t even fit in my car. I had to call a friend with a truck to get it to the house. In short, there was no way to keep this thing a secret, and so my son received his gift two days before his actual birthday. He knew immediately what it was and couldn’t contain his excitement. It was the largest Barbie product on the market – the ‘Barbie Furniture and Accessories’ collection for what has to be the world’s biggest Barbie house. And it all comes in one big-ass, impossible-to-hide box. He was thrilled.

Yes, my son had requested and was thrilled to receive a big-ass Barbie house. As you are now probably thinking, yes, we do suspect our son may be “trans.” Now, before you stop reading and scroll to any comments section to vent your joy or hate, please hold on and wait until you have read this whole thing before you get your knives out for whatever side you feel you must take on this issue.

This was the gift our son had requested for his fifth birthday. Yes, he’s only five. But this is not the first time he has exhibited what might be regarded as ‘feminine’ characteristics. I don’t know and I don’t care – I simply do not like to disappoint people of any age on their birthday. He’s a terrific child, and if he asks for one thing and one thing only – repeatedly – for his birthday, and it is in my budget and it is safe and age-appropriate, then that’s what he’s getting.

I can already feel some of you saying, But IS it safe? IS it appropriate? You can wrestle with that self-created ethical dilemma yourself. We have already made our decision about how we are going to handle this situation.

We (my wife and I) believe in reincarnation. It was one of the things we had in common that made us realize we were meant to be together. We also believe that some souls imprint on the physical gender of a previous body they’ve occupied. Perhaps they died young or very recently, and still feel the identity of the previous gender. Perhaps it was just such a wonderful life, such a great experience, that they never wanted to give up that identity. We don’t know, but we do believe gender can imprint on a soul as can any other memory that makes us who we truly are. We believe the soul is consciousness, and its gender is fluid, but perhaps souls do indeed have permanent genders. We doubt it, but who the hell knows? Whether this is the soul’s constant gender or if it has just carried over as a more deeply-imprinted identity from a previous incarnation, our son – that is, his consciousness – clearly has strong feminine qualities. Many individual incarnated consciousnesses still carry the gender of a previous identity they were really attached to, and this is why some people feel like they were born into the wrong body. I can imagine how uncomfortable that can be. Not to oversimplify it, but I still identify as the thin person I was in college, but if I put on the pants I wore then, then yes, I am very uncomfortable. Imagine being in terribly uncomfortable pants you can’t take off. You might need to get them altered while you’re still in them. Do you get my metaphor? But no one should come up to you and say, “You look uncomfortable. You should get your pants altered.” That’s just rude. That’s the sort of thing you must come to realize on your own. Telling someone they are fifty pounds of butt in 40-pound butt-capacity pants can hurt their feelings.

Anyway, our son really wanted this big-ass Barbie house, and it was an age-appropriate gift, and we will not disappoint him on his birthday. It’s as simple as that. Aside from that, we are not going to “push” him in any way. Next year, if he wants the GI Joe super-huge military base complete with manly monster truck assault vehicle, then we’ll get him that. It is his decision and we don’t want anyone telling him who he is. If his feminine soul keeps shining through, then that’s who we will love and support. What we won’t do is sit him down and say, “We think you might be a girl in a boy’s body. Here’s a book called Timmy Likes to Wear Dresses and It’s OK.” His identity is entirely his, and it is an internal decision. At least, we will do everything we can to make sure it is an internal decision. So we still use the proper pronouns for his physical gender. If he requests us to change that, then we will. Right now, he is our son, and he is playing with his big-ass Barbie house and having a great time like every child should. And he does have supportive friends – boys and girls – who are enjoying playing with him and his new, ridiculously big-ass Barbie house.

The problem is that he is going to hear about gender identity sooner than later, and do you know why? Because Republicans are always throwing loud, public hissy fits about it, and they are forcing the issue. They seem to get triggered by things as innocuous as green M&Ms. And because of these hissy fits, the more aggressive liberal extremists are getting on their soap boxes and getting in everyone’s faces as a defensive measure. Now it’s a national controversy and it’s affecting society on all levels – in school, on the playground, on all media fronts. He’s going to encounter it – he probably already has. And that will influence what should be an internal decision.

We don’t want ANYONE telling our son who he is or who he should be. That is his decision to make whenever he is ready without interlopers weighing in with their idiotic and uninformed opinions. No one else is in there with him (at least, he hasn’t displayed any multiple-personality traits as of this writing). He is the consciousness that currently appears to identify as a happy little girl in a happy little boy’s body. We don’t care because both of those can be described with one word: Happy. And so we’re going to leave him alone to be himself, and to grow to be whoever he wants to be, and we would appreciate it if the rest of our idiotic society would do the same.

And honestly, Republicans – don’t we have much, much, much more dire and pressing problems we should be dealing with right now rather than trying to distract everyone with this gender bullshit? Yes, if my son someday decides he wants to be a girl, we’re going to support him and love him and help him as any parents should. We just want that to be his own internal decision. More importantly, we just want him to enjoy his life. He won’t get that chance if some lunatic shoots him.

So whatever your opinion is on this gender issue, please – STFU and keep it to yourself.

Published by pookabazooka

I am an ape living abroad, writing to stay focused and to remember the things I think about. I post them here in case you'd like to spend a bit of time thinking about them, too.

2 thoughts on “And Now, A Distraction!

  1. Yes
    Great read! I really appreciate your stance on letting your son be who he wants to be and making his own internal decision about his identity. I do have a question, what advice would you give to other parents who may be struggling with supporting their children’s gender identity in a society that still struggles with acceptance and understanding?



    1. I would say don’t let anyone give you advice. Only you know the finer details of your situation and you can trust your own insight. It’s a tough world for people struggling with gender identity. Connecting with open-minded, empathetic people is key, but isn’t that part of the struggle? All we can do is try to protect the ones we love. Good luck.


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